This was my dinner tonight. I was too lazy to make something so I went for the bagel. Then I was like, oh yeah.....because I had just gone to Winco and had a sudden desire to be healthy, I bought a ton of veggies and some fruit. So I decided to fill my plate up with veggies. It looks marvelous and at the time I didn't think it looked like that much. Well, yeah pretty much it was. I couldn't finish the grape tomatoes, which were DEVINE by the way. Do you like how I'm going to throw this huge accomplishment away by eating cadbury mini eggs afterwards? I think I just might do my crunch for an egg combo. If you don't get it, refer to my previous post about dough, same idea-different treat. I just can't bring myself to exercise so I resort to kind of exercising while eating treats so I don't feel horrendously guilty. Now I don't want you guys to go thinking I'm so great-looking at my plate full of vegetables. I haven't eaten vegetables for like a month. I'm really not exaggerating. That's why I went on that spree at Winco today. I don't eat BAD, I just don't include all the things I need to. I'm going to try and change that. I decided salads just aren't for me. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE a good salad. I am just so lazy. I decided if I want to be healthy, I have to have finger food veggies available. I decided to cut up all the celery and tear apart the broccolli (and I was going to cut up peppers in slices too but Winco's peppers are YUCK) keep them in little tupperwares or ziplocs and eat them with each meal. Meaning...dinner because that's the only meal I'm home for. But I also thought I'd bring some to work for snacks. I sound motivated right now, but we'll see how I do next week. By the way- are bagels even that good for you? I doubt it. It is whole grain...or multigrain. I forget. So at least it's not just WHITE. You know? Ah. I'm just really wanting to get in some good habits before I start having children so that ONE- I won't gain TONS of weight, and TWO- so I will be in good habits so that my KIDS will be healthy. I don't know. I am just so insecure about all this lately. I just want to be healthy.
Weather has been GREAT. No snow all week. I love it.
My contacts suck. Sorry for the word choice, I'm sure some of you don't like it...but it actually fits perfectly. The suck in the meaning that they are like..."uncool, bad, etc" and they also feel like they are sucking on my eyes with their TEETH! ugh. I totally hate them. I didn't wear them today because they hurt my eyes the SECOND I put them in. They just get worse throughout the day. Dryness, itchiness, it feels like there are eyelashes in my eyeball- you know when that happens and it REALLY hurts? Yeah- basically, I have an appt tomorrow and I'm telling him I need NEW KINDS OF CONTACTS! Tiny eyes, my bum. I think he's foolin himself because these tiny contacts for my "tiny eyes" really aren't working. I think I need normal ones.
Clay is doing GREAT at his new job (as always) and I'm glad because he is always really happy when he is doing well at his job. We've had a rough couple of weeks though. He was trying out some new medication and we think he turned out to be allergic to it because he was having MAJOR stomach aches. Nothing gross like diarehah or throw up just massive stomach aches. I felt so awful for him. He has stopped taking the medication so his stomach is feeling a little better, but he is still feeling a little funny. If you guys can remember, just try to keep a little prayer in your heart for him. If any of you are unaware, Clay has a chronic joint disorder which causes him to be in pain all the time and so he is constantly on medication to help with the pain and everyonce in a while tries new stuff to see if it works better. He probably will hate that I put this in, but I just wanted you guys to know so that maybe your prayers could make this whole stomach pain issue a little better:) Clay is really just awesome. ahhahaa of course I say that, he is my husband, but I just am always amazed at his people skills. Half the time I think he is such a dork, and he knows it, but everyone thinks he is so cool. I mean, I guess he won me over and I thought he was cool too- I still do, but it's different. Hard to explain. I'm sure you know what I mean. Anyway, I guess in his Business Communications class, he was 15 minutes early- there were like 3 other kids there early as well and the teacher came in early and said, "Clay, could you do me a favor?" he said sure so she asked him to come to the front of the classroom. She asked him to teach the class. He was like..."uh, okay sure". So she told him what to teach and stuff and what to go over and he just wrote it all down and she sat in the back like a student! Can you believe that? Well I've actually taken this exact class before with this exact teacher- and though she never did that with my class, I can TOTALLY see her doing this. So Clay taught the class! He said that it was a hit. I guess the teacher and many students told him he should be a professor because he was so natural and did great. I'm sure he was. It's just so funny to me. He said he wanted to be a professor. I told him professors make squat. He said maybe after he works for a long time. I told him that he will be amazing at what he does too, making 10X's the salary and will probably want to just keep making money. Yeah. We'll see. On a serious note though- if that IS what happens- obviously, it will be the right thing.
I think I've been imagining things or had super anxiety lately. For the past 3 nights I have sworn I heard someone trying to unlock or open our apt door. The first time it happened I thought Clay came home early and I called out- "Hun?" no answer. I seriously thought that the door opened and closed and so my heart started beating frantically. I decided to just go look. No one was there. I was a bit scared so I held onto my cell phone the rest of the night. The next night I swore I heard someone turn our door knob. It was locked of course, so it just sounded like an attempt to get in with no success. I bolted it. Tonight- SAME THING. ajsdkf;jasdkfjladkjsla Am I going crazy? Our apt hallway is actually pretty echoey so I could just be hearing the neighbors. I just freak myself out really easy and I hate it. I decided I'm just gonna bolt lock it every night. The reason it's freaky is because when I hear it, I can't SEE the door. I can only hear it. The door goes to a hallway that leads to where I am. So all I see is a dark hallway. Okay, I really just need to stop typing this because now I'm just getting nervous. Sometimes I wonder if I am normal, or if I need to get some sort of medication for anxiety. Now my dear sisters- I don't want you all to freak out here and tell me to go to the doctor right away okay? I just don't know if I have too much anxiety about this kind of stuff. Also, to anyone who doesn't realize, anxiety kind of runs in my family so don't say anything bad or stupid about it. Also many people in all sorts of my families who I love with all my heart are on medications which I firmly support and look at as a blessing-SO don't go raggin on meds either. I just had to you know- get that clear.
Well this post probably went way too long! I am going to snuggle up and read my book. I love you all!!!!!
OH WAIT- By the way. LeAnn, another intern at work- had thin mint girl scout cookies at work and let me have some. Okay- let me tell you- the marthastewart ones that I make are SO MUCH BETTER! I was so happy. I mean, the cookies she had were still good I guess. But I didn't even have a desire to have more simply because they didn't taste that amazing compared to the cookies I've been making lately. I felt so cool.
10 comments:
OK- your dinner was so healthy! I mean I know mom might nitpick over hte bagel or whatever- but- I had freezer taquitos and then reeses peanut butter cups-hehehe- Danielle, I can't get over your crunches that is so funny. Hm, trying to get healthy so you'll have healthy habits when you have kids.... is someone trying something???? I would love it so much if you got pregnant. ok the paranioa about someone breaking in. I have had that paranoia alot, i got through phases. One thing I would do if I were you so you won't have to keep having the paranoia, is get something really noisey like cans or something, and have it next to teh door, so IF someone opened the door it would spill or rattle, then you know FOR sure someone is breaking in- rather than the door just shaking and making little noises. Like- you could put a chair infront of the door- because if someone opened the door- you would hear the chair scoot, without the intruder realizing it fast enough. Also- keep some pepper spray with you when your home alone, that relieves some anxiety for me, because if worse comes to worse, I think that will defend you pretty easily, even though it's still scary. But seriously- put something infront ofthe door- there's a big dfferent between teh sound of something moving, pushing, than a door shaking a little from teh wind- or creaking- that can be caused from wind- but wind cant cause a chair to scoot- or a can to fall over, you know? And- tell Clay, that when he comes home- he has to immediatly say, "It's clay I'm home." so you can know if the door opens and there is no greeting- you knwo it's not clay. Thanks for the consideration of telling people not to bash meds etc. that was really sweet of you. i love you so much. I'm glad clay is doing so well. teachers don't make that much money- but I think professors do. Mike said his professor makes 100,000 a year at uofo- and he's just a professor. it made me want to be a professor. but- i knwo clay could make alot more than that with sales, he would just continue to go up the scale- where as a professor doesn't. I'm so sad to hear about his meds. I will pray for him. I love you.
Danielle, I have been like this all of my life. I am constantly locking doors and using the deadbolds to do it with. I don't think you are paranoid. It pays to be a little careful, because the world we live in today isn't as safe as it used to be. So do as Amy says and then you'll feel safer. I will say my prayers for Clay and you. I think your meal was pretty healthy. As long as you have more veggies and fruit than other things you're okay. Even the bagel was fine. Whole grain is always good. Cream cheese isn't all bad a little fat is good. I think it's okay to take short cuts when you're preparing food. It gets worse as you get older, some things are just too much trouble: ) Love grandma
Ok Danielle, everyone has freak outs, it doesn't mean you need meds. People are way to "jump-the gun" about meds. It's time to turn to medication and therapy when you can no longer lead a normal life. That your anxiety is making it so your life isn't "normal". But to me it you seem very normal. You can sleep thru the night- yet you're afraid- you don't hide in your appt. w/ Clay because of fear. You seem fine to me. Also, everyone goes thry phases where they're more fearful than others- I know I do.
However- if something is going on something needs to be done about it. If you keep ignoring something that is real something bad might happen. This will sound crazy, but does it happen at the same time everynight? Could you hide a camera somewhere? If you think it's in your head and you're scared, just conquer your fear- get a blessing- sing hymns. If you really think something's happening, do something. I love you.
Buy a baseball bat at the Goodwill. You could hit someone really hard and not super close to them. Keep it by your bed.
Okay, your lock thing is so Jane Eyre. Is there a mad woman living in the attic? Sorry, I couldn't resist. Bolting the door is a great solution, and Megan's baseball bat, wow, she is a resourceful woman. Bagels wouldn't be as healthy as whole wheat bread, but they are better than cadbury eggs! I love you and miss you.
Hey Danielle- yes, Emily remembers you and actually reads your blog.. I guess she doesn't leave comments (we are alike...) Anyway- I think you are 100% normal to have anxiety about people breaking into your house. I worry that someone is sneaking into our babies room and taking her and leaving with her while we are asleep. I have LOTS of anxiety over trivial things that I really have no control over, so I think it is normal. And that is great that you are trying to develope good eating habbits for your future children, because they eat whatever you eat! Your going to be a great mom some day...
Hey guys,
Hope all is well with you all. I thought the advice of putting something in front of your door was good. Congrats on trying to eat healthy. I am really tired so sorry I am not writing more but i just wanted you to know that i was checking on you. I really hope you have a good week. Tell Clayton congrats on the job and teaching job.
Love you
Aunt Susan
I think it's so cool that Clay taught a class. Were you nervous Clay?? I would be, but I would sort of feel cool at the same time. I'm sure you did awesome.
loved the cadbury eggs by the very beautiful veggies, you are so honest! I also love that you are being consistent in your exercise plan :-) Seriously! Every little bit helps. I am going to share it as a joke to my ww people! Megans idea about a baseball bat is pretty good! I guess I am going to have to try your cookies, or should I? I love you!!! I am so grateful you shared with us about Clay. Everyone was very quick to say they would fast, and wanted to know exactly when. I think it is a very wonderful to think that our whole family is fasting and praying together right now. I am so grateful for my family! Love you!!! excited to see you in a few weeks.
Hey Danielle! I am so glade that you have a blog too so that I can keep up on you guys. First of all I hope all goes well with clay. Second I am eating mini eggs right now. I told Richard I need to stock up on them. lol Well hope all is well with you. Oh and don't feel bad, when richard first started going on ride alongs a night before he got hired, I would freak myself out too because I thougt I would here things and then I would imagine people breaking in. So don't worry I am just like you!
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