Time Out For Women 2013

So I went to TOFW (time out for women) with Patty, Denise, Cheryl, Susan, and Becky. That is my mother-in-law, her three sisters, and one of her sister's friends. 

Me, Patty, Cheryl, Denise, Susan, Becky

I have to admit something to you. I was a bit nervous for this weekend. Last year I was kind of in a darker place in my life where I was feeling like I had it REALLY bad. I kind of feel like I was hangin on by a thread and so when I went to TOFW I literally came home and BAWLED. In a bad way. Not in an uplifted way, but in a way that made me feel like my life was never getting better. I mean, I got over it...but it wasn't the most uplifting experience for me at the time. 

I thought I'd give it another try this year because Patty invited me and well I will tell you- I AM SO GLAD I WENT! This year was FAR AND AWAY so much better than last year and I left feeling so so uplifted. So uplifted I went to work on Monday and told my co-workers all about it! I have to write some of my feelings because I don't want to forget this particular one.

The last speaker was amazing to say the least. She had cancer as a baby and had to have radiation. Apparently the radiation she had as a baby then caused her cancer again in her adult years, causing her to have five surgeries in five months in order to simply survive. Through her treatment she lost her eyesight, and had an entire eye removed. She had to have a bunch of tissue and things removed from her face and it left her blind, quite different looking, and depressed. Well...she didn't let it keep her down. First off, she found humor in it and was able to joke about her blindness and her fake eye.

Secondly, she was able to heal through the atonement. She talked about it in a way I hadn't quite connected with until now. She said that for the longest time she was so dark, so sad, so depressed because she was always thinking about who she was, and how she could be who she was before the cancer again. But there came a time when she realized she would never be that woman again. It was time to offer her old, broken heart to the Lord, and by doing so he then gave her a new heart to move on with. She said that THAT is the power of the atonement, to give Christ our broken hearts so that he can give us new ones that we can move on with. She said that she will never be the woman she once was, but she can be a new woman and have a wonderful life still if she lets herself move on, and accept this new heart. 

I love that. It relates so well for me because I feel like I have been stuck a lot the past few years in, "When will I get my old life back", when will I feel like me again, when will it be normal again. The truth is, my old life "before Lyme", is just that. My old life. I wont see it again. And that is okay. I can move on, build a new life that is still good, even better possibly, WITH Lyme. My life will never be the same, and I accept that. Every person has limits, every person has heart aches, it's what we do with them that matters. I am sick of wondering when I will get my life back, or when I will be able to "start" my life, or when things will be normal. None of those things are realities and it doesn't even have to be depressing. Think of the life ahead of me! So much good things in store. Another speaker there said, "Never say WHY ME? Always say WHAT NOW?" I have definitely asked myself Why ME?!?! So many times. No more. We ALL have storms. Even if I got cured of Lyme forever, I'd still get another storm. I feel like the trial has nothing to do with me, but I have everything to do with the "What now" part. What will I do now? Trials are always a crossroads. What direction will I let this trial take me in my life? Sometimes we can pick the wrong direction and get lost for a while...but I know if we look to the right source for direction (scriptures, prayer), we can always find our way back to the right path. 

TOFW was awesome. So many good speakers. Good music. Loved it. I've been thinking about it all week since I went. I figured I'd better share :)

25 in 25

Happy Birthday to ME! I love birthdays. I think mostly because I LOVE presents and I LOVE cheesecake. And I get both today! And I love saying to Clay, "But it's my birrrrthday...." with a pouty face and then he HAS to do whatever I'm asking :)

Anwho, today will be a great day. But what this post is about is my 25th year as Danielle. I have seen on a few blogs people will make lists of things they want to do before their next birthday. The list has the same amount of things as the years you turned. So, for me, I am making a list of 25 things I am going to do before I turn 26! YIKES! 26....that sounds old...haha! No worries, I'm still 25 for a whole year :) So without further ado, here is my list of 25 things I am going to do while I'm 25:

1. Ride my bike around the river
2. Do yoga everyday for a month
3. Go on a zipline
4. Float Mack's inn river
5. Go with Clay on the motorcycle to Mesa Falls
6. Grow a garden
7. Read a Jane Austen book
8. Make a blog book for each year that I've been blogging
9. Travel somewhere I've never been before
10. Have a friend over for brunch on one of my days off
11. Go to temple once a week for a month
12. Reupholster another chair
13. Paint another painting
14. Make a new quilt
15. Have a get together for Halloween time
16. Have a get together for Christmas time
17. Write a song
18. Have no sugar/treats from my birthday to Clay's
19. Plant flowers in our front yard and keep them alive
20. Go for a walk everyday for a month
21. Go rock climbing
22. Redecorate above the piano
23. Redecorate hallway
24. Give my neighbors and friends a Christmas gift
25. Write a book about my Lyme experience

Whoa nelly! So a lot of these are actually FEARS! Gardening, inviting people over, write a song, rock climbing, write a BOOK- these are actually all pretty big fears/anxieties of mine. A lot are just fun things too. But, I am determined! I think most of these will just be so fun, some will be growing experiences, some really hard- but I am determined to have the best year of my life so far. And I'm excited! I do really well with lists. The ones that I have set for like, "do X for a month" I'll just do one of those at a time. I'll probably talk more in detail about some of these later, but these are all things I've wanted to try for some time...so it will be great. And this is very much in line with my new determination to start DOING. Yay! I'm so excited. Happy Birthday to me and have a good day!

These are the exciting things in my life

 You have NO idea how happy Clay is that he can ride his bike. On another note, you have NO idea how bummed out he gets when there is a chance of rain or snow (yep, still getting snowfalls here and there). It's still much too cold for me to ride on the back of that thing...but give us a few weeks and I'm sure it'll be fine. I really am glad he got it cause he seriously is just SO happy every time he rides it.

 It's official. I HATE PITTING DATES. Oh my heck! Sam's Club will randomly sell these bags of pitted dates and I always stock up but I guess I didn't get back intime to restock my supply because the bags were GONE and all they had were these ones with the pits in them! Talk about a pain and a HALF! I mean, it's fine. Whatever. But really, I prefer my pits to be pitted for me, thank you very much.

I suppose it's worth it. My finished product- date balls (really homemade lara bars, or as Clay likes to call them, little turd balls...eyeyeyeye....). Have I talked about these before? I have no idea. The only ingredients are dates, almonds, and cocoa. They have saved me with my "no sweets" deal. Gives me enough to not give in to real treats :)

 

I have been slowly slowly slowly organizing my sewing room and the most recent organization is mini-bolts made out of cardboard. YAY! I actually went through my fabric and am giving away like...2 garbage sacks full of fabric I figure I will never use again. That's something to brag about, seriously. It's hard to get rid of fabric when you have a little devil Danielle in the back of your head saying, "But you might need that down the road for some project you haven't even thought of yet and then regret it!" NO MORE! I only kept fabrics that I could see actual projects in and I am only going to buy fabrics if it's for a project. This is great progress for me. Hopefully someday that room will be fully organized. I am convinced it will be by the end of April. That's my goal anyway. 

In other news, I went shopping with Patty and Makayla for my birthday and I am SO excited because I am getting some CA-UTE clothes!

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. Feels like tomorrow should be Friday. Deary me. Well, like I said, these are the most exciting things of my life right now. I am having a hard time doing too much stuff outside of work right now because my brain gets pretty dead tired by this time of tax season. Only a bit to go and I couldn't be happier. 

Till next time!

Time to be a kid again

I had a thought today about how we raise our kids. Obviously I don't have kids I'm raising yet, but I've observed MANY people with these kinds of practices I'm about to talk about, and plan on raising my kids like this as well...so here we go.

Seems like most people encourage their kids to not watch TOO much tv, and they would like them to do things like...read, art, games, outdoor activities, using their imagination, chores. 

It kinda hit me today...if I was a child being raised and my mom saw how I spend my days, she'd say, "Nope! You've already watched enough tv today...time to do something else!"

Somewhere between being a teenager, going to college, and starting a job I lost those principles of DOING rather than sitting and staring. I do much more tv-watching than doing in my life. 

I know. I work full time, I have Lyme, blah blah blah. But another thought came to me. One reason I've heard from siblings and friends that they don't let their kids watch too much tv is because it makes their kids cranky and whiny and sometimes crazy. haha. If all they do is sit and stare, and not exercise their minds in the previously mentioned ways, then they aren't as happy. 

HELLO?!?!?!

I mean, I pretty much knew this for myself, that I am not as happy when all I do is watch TV...but looking at it from this perspective just means more to me. I have come to realize...I think I need to try and live my life more like a child. And try and discipline myself like I would a child. I don't want to stunt my kid's growth, right? So why am I limiting myself? And stunting my growth? By spending SO much time on television? Cause the fact is, we are all capable of growth. No matter WHAT our age or station in life. And the age old concept still stands that if you aren't moving forwards, you are moving backwards. When it comes to life, you can't really stand still. 

So- here's my new found resolution. Be a child! But I suppose with that I also need to be a parent. To myself. That'll be a toughy! 

But really, I've said this before- I am always happiest when I am creating, reading, writing, DOING. I really am. 

On another note- in ten days I will be 25 years old :) I'm pretty pumped up about it. 

Also I have not had sugar in a week and I know what you're thinking. Uhhh Danielle? Haven't you been perfect at this forever? Nope! I fell off the wagon. Went on a sugar binge. Awful. Back on again and not cheating on sugar until my birthday. Then not cheating till Clay's birthday, in August. 

Less than a month left of tax season! Ceeelllebrate good times COME ON! 

Incase you are wondering how the oils are going...we have been doing them for about a week and a half...so far so good. Nothing extreme happening, but I didn't expect anything like that. We will see how we feel after a month. Clay MAY have herxed...hard to say, but he had super bad symptoms for a few days and now he feels great. So he probably did. I also had super bad headache the first few days on them and then now I don't. So who knows? 

Clay started a new job! He's still doing stuff on the side if you need anything. But he is now in a managing position at a local web firm here in town and he is really liking it so far! So that's great. 

Not much else is happenin over here. Till next time!

A sad, sad story

Tragic.

I have decided...I can no longer attend the BEST Zumba class known to man. My foot finally got better, I finally gained the motivation, and finally went to Zumba tonight with one of my friends. Well, right ontime...20 minutes in my ears itch BAD. I don't touch them in fear it will make it worse. About a minute later I feel a bump rising on the inside of my lip. About another minute later the back of my throat is swelling. I run to my purse and take two benedryl (a girl like me takes a pack of benadryl, and an epi-pen everywhere I go)...I feel my throat getting worse so I decide to head to the bathroom. Look in the mirror and I see a large bump on one side of the back of my throat, and on one side of my lip. Head back out and tell my friend and I felt so bad but she is so nice so we left early. Got home and Clay said, "YOU ARE NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN".

It's true. I have to admit it at some point. That place is not good for my body! Isn't that sad? The one place that got me on my feet, moving, and feeling emotionally and physically strong...is TEARING ME DOWN through dumb allergies! It's just too stressful. I can't do it anymore. This has happened SO much. I am guessing it's some sort of cleaning supply or something. OR perfume. Who knows. All I know is it's way too unpredictable and has been happening way too often. I suppose I'll just have to find another fun thing or class to do :(

Life is good besides that. Nothing much to report. Only one month left of tax season! Hoorah! I'm so excited to have Fridays off and sunny weather! The good weather and time off will be spent gardening (yep!), walking the dog, going on motorcycle rides, and hopefully some traveling to visit my family. Can't wait!

February Goals by Numbers

Well, it's been a month already! Yikes! Here we go.

Incase you missed it, I am doing goals by numbers for my resolutions this year. Here are my February results:

Play 1000 songs on the piano
I played 45 songs on the piano this month.

Read 12 new books
I read 1 book. It's called "Every Day" by David Levithan. Meh...I don't recommend it. Too much agenda for the idea that gender is not really real. Only physical. I strongly don't believe that. So it kinda bugged.

Make 52 new recipes
I made 3 new recipes. Apple Cinnamon Steel Cut Oats, Veggie Rigatoni, and Taco Bake. They were all fantastic! All three came from Megan's cookbook.

Have 12 memorable dates with Clay
Okay- I am going to count 1 memorable date. Clay and I played scrabble TWICE in a day. It was intense. And Clay won BOTH TIMES. UGHHHHHHHHHHH! But you know what? It was still way fun and I love how competitive we are with each other. We have declared each other our sworn nemesis when it comes to games. I just have to say this too- Clay has never beat me in Scrabble before. And all of a sudden he wins TWICE?! We will have to play again this weekend.
 
 Read Genesis through 2 Kings of the Old testament
Yikes. I am only on Genesis 18. That's embarrasing. Time to kick it in gear Danielle!

RUNNING TOTALS
105 songs on piano
1 new book
12 new recipes
1 memorable date with Clay
Genesis 1-17 read

Not to shabby. I'm determined to do even better this month!!!