UGH- my painting is taking FOREVER to dry! I painted it Saturday and it is STILL not dry. Clay warned me it'd take a week probably...but deary me I am anxious to get that up on my wall!
I just cleaned out my fridge. I feel so much better. It was stinky :)
I got a book from the library called "Graceling" which has been recommended to me by multiple people...excited to get into it.
Do any of you do pandora? I did a long time ago, and got annoyed of my favorite songs not playing. haha. Well, Clay does it a lot and so I decided to take another stab at it. I love it! Right now I have it on "She & Him" station...have you listened to them? Again, I wasn't too into them at first...but all of a sudden I love them. They are pretty folksy soulful kinda. Anyway- this station is amazing. I highly recommend it! :) But I mean, if you're in the dancing kind of mood- this isn't the right station.
I kinda have come to the realization lately that I expect too much of myself. I know it can often be the opposite...but me oh my I can make some high expectations of myself. Therefore, I am constantly disappointing myself. It's really hard for me to be a full-time worker, and be a really great homemaker and wife. I beat myself up about it inside my head a LOT. So anyway- when I'm at work, I'll make this big ol list full of things that I want to get done that night. And for some reason, I think I can totally get it done. Then I get one or two things done and am exhausted and then feel like a pathetic person for not getting my list done. This is not right. I think at this point in my life...I should not expect so much out of myself! Obviously, its good to have goals and work hard...but there comes a point where you've just gone too far! This will be really hard for me but I'm just going to make small goals that can be accomplished easily...until I start understanding more of what I can handle and what is good for me.
This week I go back to try the IV's again. I'm nervous. I hope so bad it works and my veins are healthy and strong enough for it. I have been mucho tired this week. It's finally getting to me not having those things. Which worries me...thinking my improvement has all been temporary. I don't know. We'll see I guess.
Well, that's all for now. I better eat and clean the kitchen! My goals for today were: clean out fridge, clean kitchen. It's only 6:00 so I'm pretty excited that I only have one thing left to do and then I can read or sew or something :)
7 comments:
I've discovered that even when you do stay home full time, there are some things that don't get done too even when they are on a list and you should have gotten them done because you stay home. A little fight ends up happening that you need to break up, it takes an hour to feed the baby, cleaning the kitchen takes longer because you have a little underfoot that gets everything out as you put it back...don't be so hard on yourself. We all do things like that.
Wow, I can't believe you"clean the fridge and kitchen" AFTER work. Yowsa. That's a lot. And then sew or read? You are superwomen. It's too bad we can't see ourselves the way others see us. You are AMAZING to me.
love you love you
Well Danyelli, to clean the kitchen AND fridge after work is amazing and a big accomplishment! So you're right, you are expecting too much! I'm glad you are going to lessen the load. But I totally have been there and still do that sometimes where i make a huge list only to feel bad about myself when I really should be proud that I did 3 things on my list of 10! ha. I love you- can't wait to see the painting on the wall. love you-
I totally know how you feel. After work, I always have so much I want to do, but the hours slip away sooo fast between 5 and bedtime! And in the winter it's worse because it gets dark so early, I feel like the night is over at 6! You're not alone!
Good luck with your IV!!
Wo. Danielle. Slow down. First things first. You wanna be a wife and homemaker, but since you're working just as many hours as Clay, that's his job too. 50/50. So if he doesn't cook, make him clean the bathroom. Or SOMETHING so it's not all on your shoulders. It took me awhile to realize this- wanting to be what I thought was the perfect image of housewife. It's a load of crap. Especially if you're working too! That load doesn't change once you have a babe, suddenly the work is just at home- and never stops. ANYWAY. Divide up the work load. Men never figure out how to do it on their own. You just have to ask them like you're their mother. It's the worst, but I'm basically over it now. And maybe you could teach Clay how to prep stuff for you, so cooking isn't so overwhelming. Have him make a salad, or cut the potatoes and put them in boiling water. He could do simple stuff. Even if he's tired, he could sit down and do it at the table. You really can't do it all yourself, and shouldn't feel like you have to. (by the way, this isn't a rag on Clay or anything. This is just a realization I had to have about Greg and feeling like I was doing EVERYTHING. and you've mentioned before how he doesn't cook. that's all) As for accomplishments. I have a random day a month where I get a lot done, but other than that, if I get one thing done- big or small, I am satisfied. We just can't expect more out of ourselves. And if you only get ONE thing done a day, that's alot when you add up the week or month. It really is. Then you're happier and don't have to "crash" because you've exausted yourself. Also, don't worry if your house is dirty. Try to let it not bug you (I don't know if it does, but I've had to take a chill pill when it comes to that so I don't drive myself crazy with cleaning) So just decide to do what's really important- whether it's because the house is starting to smell, or you just really want to work on a craft. The reality is, life isn't about how clean our house is or how many things we can SEE that we accomplish, it's everything else. Just do your best, and the rest really will fall into place. I love you. Sorry life has been so hard. It ISN'T all for nothing.
I'm glad you are recognizing that you cant' expect so much out of yourself. Working fulltime is huge!!! I think you should only do a few little things during the week and save the bigger stuff for the weekend. I love you!! am praying for you for tomorrow! Oh and I put that book on hold. I think it will be in tomorrow or Monday at the latest.
I think it is wonderful that you have a clean fridge, mine is a mess with capitol letters. I really need to clean it out and the side freezer. I will get around to it. I am sorry you had to go back on the IV's again and I have been praying hard for you to be able to have a better time of it. I pray you will be able to feel better and have more energy. I know what that feels like I hate not having the energy I used to have all of the time. I used to take it for granted and not anymore. I am grateful for what little I have. I love you so much it will get better. Hugs and Kisses
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