Church was wonderful today. A couple spoke on the Atonement, and the woman who spoke said that she knew it wasn't a mistake or coincidence that they were asked to speak on the atonement on September 11th. At first, I thought- I don't get it...how do the two connect? But of course, I just am not quite as spiritual as some and forgot that the Atonement is really in everything. I'm pretty sure her talk was prepared specifically for me. She talked about how we all go through tragedies and crisis in our life. Each of us have moments where something happens that will change us the rest of our life. In that moment, we have a choice. We can move down and further away from Christ and become bitter, angry, sad, and heavy. Or, we can move closer to Christ and become healed. Whether that means literally healed from an illness, or problem, or whether it means gaining strength and understanding to bear something. She reminded us that though we may feel alone and like no one in the world understands, there is one person who will ALWAYS completely understand. He does not turn away anyone who searches for Him. One thing I loved is she said that the chinese character for the word "crisis" is the same chinese character for the word "opportunity". In every single thing that happens to us in this life, comes an opportunity. An opportunity to come closer to Christ and become a better person, or an opportunity to become a worse person.
I went to the Temple with Patty on Friday, and I'm SO GRATEFUL I did. It's amazing the peace that can come when within the walls of the temple. My sister has told me numerous times that after her painful divorce, going to the temple once a week is what healed her. I'm so blessed to have a temple so close.
Clay and I were listening to NPR yesterday on our way home from Pocatello, and there were a bunch of interviews of people who lost family members on 9/11. It was so interesting...because I was surprised that a lot of them seemed quite bitter about the media attention the anniversary was getting. One interview in particular stood out to me. She said that she struggled with the tagline "Never Forget", because all she wanted to do was forget that horrible day, when she lost her husband. Of course, I will never understand the pain or struggling anyone in that position would be in...but I couldn't stop thinking why I never will forget, and don't want to forget that day. Every year, I think of the day I was 13 years old, at the beginning of 8th grade, and came downstairs to read scriptures with my family...to see the news on. I think of how I was watching the news when the second plane hit and I was horrified. I think of how I went to school that morning and asked my "best friend" if she saw the news. I told her what happened and that thousands of people were dying and she said, "Yeah...my parents aren't that into politics" and I was sickened as she continued to laugh and joke around with other kids. Every year, I am grateful that we haven't been attacked again. Every year, I am grateful that I live in such a country that I am safe, and not worrying about being attacked or killed on a daily basis, as many people in other countries are. Every year, I am grateful that I am free and that I'm an American. Every year, I remember that I need to be kinder to strangers and a better citizen. Every year, I am reminded that things can change in an instant...and I should keep perspective on what's important. No...I will never forget. And I don't WANT to forget.
I know a lot of this is probably boring. I don't always read blogs that have just tons of "personal insight" or whatever...but I just have all this stored up in my brain and want to remember it. Cause I know I'm human and will forget or lose perspective and will need to regain it sometime. Hopefully re-reading this sometime will help me when I'm struggling.
Life is hard, but good. It really is all about perspective, balance, and love. ha! If only it were so simple :)