Thursday, July 22, 2010

Danielle's take on paintballing...

Sometimes I feel a tad awkward when I talk in 3rd person like that. Whateva.

So last night we went paintballing. I'd say there were around 20 people that showed up! Holy friggin smokes. I knew like...3 people I think sooooo it was a little nerve wracking.

The whole way up I had this anxiety filled chest where my heart would start beating fast, and my stomach would hurt and I'd scrunch my face in a worried fashion and seriously wonder why I agreed to do this. I'm not joking. I was SCARED OUT OF MY MIND. Yeah- I understand that people don't typically die from paintballing, but it's just this thing...I have to talk myself through things. Like, when I go to the lake, and it's so FREAKING COLD, I have to tell myself that I really won't die if I get in. I'm not joking. I tell myself this because for some reason, my body thinks it will die if it goes UNDER the freezing cold water.

Back to the paintballing. I was in the process of talking myself up and starting to feel good about it. Cause I I was talking myself up (in my head), Clay was talking me up out loud. He'd say things like, "Hey- just remember to be really quiet, and your ears are your biggest tool, and just shoot a BUNCH of times..not just once because you probably will miss with just one shot...if they are running shoot ahead of them...if you're running they are less likely to hit you...just stick with me and you'll be fine...It really doesn't hurt'll be fine" tip after tip after tip. I was almost stressed because of the OVERLOAD of info he was giving me. But it was nice- he was lookin out for me:)

We get there- to this ISLAND. Yeah. An island. And Clay carries me across because there's no bridge. Thank goodness for Clay! He unfortunately got quite wet, along with the other men. We get across to the island and there are GUNS EVERYWHERE! Granted, they are paintball guns...but it was still a scary site for a lil Oregonion wussy girl (me). Everyone was in camo or black or green (myself included) and no one looked near as scared as me. Or even scared at all. If they were, they hid it very well.

The games finally start and it's basically like...two teams, shoot eachother till a whole team is out. I follow Clay and this is where it all begins. Crouching and hiding. I tell you- I was bored out of my ever loving MIND! The majority of the 3 hours of games...I just crouched, and moved, and crouched, and moved, and crouched, and moved, and crouched get the picture. Clay DID say that this was not the most exciting game he's ever played. I guess he is used to more action and people taking more chances...there wasn't too much of that this I think he wishes I coulda seen that more.

The most exciting part of the night was when we played President. How it goes is, there are two teams. One team has the President and the rest of the team is the President's bodyguard. The President doesn't get a gun, and the bodyguards are in charge of getting the president to their home base. In order for the other team to win is they have to hit the president in the chest, or the back. So you know- I volunteered to be President cause it really is not likely you get hit. It was kinda fun for me cause I had all these people trying to protect me. So all of a sudden, as I was crawling under a bush, following these guys out of our hiding spot- I get this image of Princess Leah, and Luke, and Han Solo, running from crazy bad guys. Then I felt kinda like a princess. I'm not even joking. So as I'm decked out in baggy camo in a foresty island, crouching in bushes, I am seeing this whole different scenario where I am a princess being saved by valiant men. It made the whole experience a lot better. Thank GOODNESS, they got the princess to her castle (aka. Got the President to Home Base). I was safe.

I got hit 4 times. Once in the leg, and it didn't break. Once in the shoulder, and it didn't break. Once on my other shoulder and it didn't break. Once in the arm and it broke. The one shoulder- HURTS! I woke up in the night cause it hurt when it got rubbed. But the other ones don't hurt at all now. They just stung for a minute right after I got shot. hahaha. I GOT SHOT! Yikes.

Overall, I decided...I'm not so much of a painballin kinda girl. I think I'll leave it to those valiant men. I woke up this morning EXAUSTED, sore, and kinda ticked. I mean- I spent a whole night crouching and crawling, which if you think about it- kinda means I spent the whole night doing squats or played target for some man to shoot at.

Lastly- I NEVER EVEN FREAKING SHOT MY GUN! ughhhhhhhhh. As Clay put it on the drive home, "We didn't go through many paintballs. Thanks to my conservative shot here:)". hahaha. Conservative Shot. I like that:) The thing about it is, I never saw anyone until they shot me. Then I saw them. So it was like...too late. Ya know?

So that's my take on paintballing. I'm glad I went though. It was fun to get dressed up in Camo and Clay tell me I look good was good to try it out ya know? Like- I've never been and always wondered if I'd be an amazing paintballer. I always wonder that if I've never tried something. I'm like- I've never tried snowboarding...I probably should cause what if that's my life calling? Clay thinks I need to try it again. I'm not so sure. We'll see after it's been a while and my legs don't feel like I've been on a 10k marathon and my shoulder has healed. I might go...offer to be princess again:)


Megan and Greg said...

Oh my gosh. The first Thanksgiving Greg and I were married I paintballed and had the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE. Everyone with guns in camo was absolutely TERRIFYING. And then we just sit in the mud behind a bush and I am bored out of my mind. So I keep trying to talk to Greg and he's just like, "Shh." And suddenly I hear gunfire and feel like I'm going to die! Greg pops up and starts shooting and I crouch and cover my head feeling complete terror. Next thing I know I get shot in the hand. The end of my paintballing experience. Not for Megan. And I can't believe Clay said it doesn't hurt. Greg has recieved the BIGGEST welts all over his body! I'm pretty sure they hurt.


oh my gosh, that post was so hilarious. there were so many great quotes. I love hwo clay talked you up for so long, giving you so many tips and hints before you started, I can see the whole thing. And then all teh squating exercizes you did, and then- entering guy land of the imaginary, becoming a princess. I guess you finally can understand why they enjoy this kind of thing- because I bet that's what they do in their head, I bet they imagine they are some hero of some sort. So funny. That president game sounds fun, especially being the president. so so funny. I still haven't talked to you about teh weekend- like how your company was and everything- I got your call today but i was in class. I only have a break from 12-1. adn by then you're done with your lunch :( anyway- love you! great post!

Patty said...

Thanks for the big laugh this morning..loved your take on paintballing and as usual you tell a great story..the princess part was the funniest..have a great day..bye now..

Kristi M. said...

This post was hilarious! Paintballing would not be for me. The welts are what scares me to even try and it does sound super boring. I would probably be one of those suicide paintballers and go crazy just to get myself out of the game.

Lisel A. Slie said...

I am so sorry. I would not want to go paint balling. Why do they make such a big deal out of it? That is my question of the day.

I know exacatacaly how you feel when you were on your way there. Once we were at the dentist and it was sorta a last minute thing. You know, forget the appointment. So on the way there I kept telling myself, "It's okay. It's healthy for your teeth. You will be okay. Even if I do have a cavity they won't do it today." Stuff like that. I had to tell myself I would come out better than I was when I went in. That I would not die. Then I did have a cavity and mom said, "Get it over with." So they did it and as I was walking to the other chair I was freaked! Shaking! Almost nauseous! And it was only the dentist. Yeah. I know how you feel.

So, how is the Aloe Vera plant? Still alive? I hope so. I love you. :)

Rebecca said...

You are so funny. Wow, what a girl you are. Glad you got to be a princess, or at least turned yourself into one. Love you.

Sharon/mom said...

That was hilarious! Especially the part of being the Pres,and being bored. It think at this point in my life, the squats and workout aspect would have made it worth it. I was impressed you would go, don't blame you for never wanting to go again. Loved the tips Clay was giving, I could just hear him. The tone in his voice and wanting you to love it. It cracks me up how men think we will like their hobbies! It still stick to the philosophy, I will try it when I see your dad wanting to learn to sew! Love you!!