Goodbye 2012! Hello 2013!

Well, it's that time. Time to round up 2012 and welcome the new year.

It's still a BIT mind boggling that it's going to be 2013. That sounds so futuristic for some reason...haha.

Well this year didn't really seem like much. I can only really think of one thing and that's that Clay and I just kept getting better. Which sounds like not much- but it really is a lot!

I'm trying to think of any big things that happened but nothing much really. We traveled to visit some people a bit, had some visitors, but nothing extraordinary. Oops! HELLO?! We had some huge ones I'm totally forgetting! YIKES. What am I thinking. Seriously. Let's bullet point this out.

• Clay and I got better.
• Clay quit his job and started his own business.
• I became a Certified Public Accountant
• I started food storage
• I've kept trying really really hard. 

That's all I can really round up for 2012 but I'd say that's a fantastic list!

2013 will be a good one. Even though 2012 wasn't as good as I hoped (I am still in treatment), I still have high hopes for the future. Here is basically what I've come up with for what I want to accomplish and work on in 2013:

• Pay off MY student loan (it's very small but BLAH- it's there. time to get rid of it)
• 6 months food storage, organized (I started out with the goal of a year...but decided that's a bit much for me right now. I will shoot for 6 and if I get there easily we'll go from there)
• 72 hour kits
• successfully budget once a week
• exercise once a day 6 days a week 
• be more spiritual
• read jane austen
• FINISH TREATMENT! 
• get better at sight reading on the piano

So I am really determined about these. There's lots but I feel strongly about all of them. Here is how I've determined I'm going to accomplish these things:

• Exercise minimum 10 minutes. That's all I'm requiring of myself each day.
• Spiritual 20 minutes. This is probably going to be the HARDEST of them all. Our young women did a "beauty project" where they talked about inner beauty and stuff. One of the challenges was to spend as much time getting ready on the inside as you do getting ready on the outside. That REALLY hit home with me and I thought- wow how much time do I spend on so many pointless things? And I barely get in any spirituality in my day. Time to try and change that. 
• Read recreationally 10 minutes in the evening. I figure I'll get some Jane Austen in that way. 
• Do my treatments twice a day- and all of the treatment (we've been slacking on our supplements)
• Sight read 10 minutes after dinner while Clay does dishes with the primary children's song book or the hymn book. (Have I told you how crappy I am at sight reading? This will help immensely)
• Have family home evening every Monday night
• Budget every monday night after FHE
• Fast with a purpose each month
• Assess budget once a month for any extra we could put towards my student loan.
• Wash face each night
• Drink lots and lots of water

The last two aren't like OFFICIAL but they are new resolutions as well. So if you look at all those bullet points it looks like I have a lot of goals. But that's really misleading. I have about 9 resolutions and lots of ways to help myself incorporate them. I know...I know. I should probably just pick one. But I can't really help it. I even made myself a daily resolutions chart where I will check off if I've done something each day...dorky, I know. But I know it will help.

I guess I just am at a point where my life feels really dead and pointless in a way...so I feel like making some changes would help. We shall see. I certainly wont be perfect! But I will keep trying.

This last weekend we had Lizzie's family over for a few days. It was so fun! I loved having them around. I didn't take any pictures though! Woops! We basically hung around a lot- we went sledding one day for probably a half hour or so- and it was SO fun. Tanner loved it, the girls not so much. They got cold fast. We baked and made homemade yogurt, which was great. We went out to eat and played Wii...it was lots of fun!

Well...I am hoping to take a nap today in order to be able to stay up late and not be miserable tonight. We will be playing games and eating good food. I think I will make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and french bread and artichoke dip. One last hoorah before the new year....since I will be renewing the whole, no sugar/gluten unless it's a holiday thing.

Happy New Year! Lets hope 2013 brings lots of happiness for lots of people. And lets hope that we can spread more happiness too. I just want everyone to be happy. I suppose if I were to pick an underlying word that I would like the theme of this year to be...it'd be HAPPY. Happy me, happy people. Be happy- share happy- give happy. Everything happy. Ready for a tangent? Okay- cause I have one. I think that if you are determined to be happy- you can get there. There are literally so many people I have come in contact with where it is so clear they DON'T want to be happy! There is a lady in my ward who EVERY time I ask her how she is, she says, "Well...ya know...I'm workin on it" or, "Hangin in there", or, "I'll get there". And...I just don't get it. I know people have bad days...but to ALWAYS be having that attitude? I also know people that have REALLY hard lives and they try so hard to be cheerful and happy despite everything. So yeah. I prefer to be the latter person. Being cheerful and happy no matter my circumstances. I want to be a person that people walk away from feeling happier, not sad. I don't know where I am at right now...but I'm sure I can always go up!

Wow. Long post. Happy New year.

A very Merry Christmas, Indeed

Well Christmas here has been great. It's been nice and lazy. I am sitting my new jammies and eating lots of bread and sweets! They great thing is, I'm not suffering much from it at all except for the occasional stomach ache. But I figure I'd have that no matter what...even if I didn't have Lyme! :)

One thing I've realized for sure is....candy making, cookie making, the NEED to make way too much...runs in my blood. I've seen it in my Grandma, and who knows how much further back it goes. I made way too much and the truth is...I've eaten most of it. Clay ate the next most. And Clay's family barely ate any of it! I don't understand. I mean I can say this with absolute certainty- it is ALL DELICIOUS! Except the caramels didn't turn out great this year. Too hard. But everything else is divine. I think it must just be that second stomach I have always assumed I have. The one dedicated for sweets.

Anywho- besides all that...we have played lots of games...watched some good movies...which reminds me. Clay has turned quite the corner this year! Usually, he is quite grinchy. He doesn't really like anything about Christmas traditions. He never wanted to watch Christmas movies or turn on the Christmas lights...well...though he didn't show interest in every Christmasy thing I wanted to do this year...he DID turn on the Christmas lights most nights for me before I got home from work, and he DID watch Elf, It's a Wonderful Life, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with me! Not bad...not bad at all! I'm telling you- it's been a great turn for the good and made me one happy happy girl.

Tomorrow my sissy Lizzie and her family will come to stay with us for a few days! I'm so excited! And the ground is spread with lots of white snow...so hopefully we'll get some fun sledding in or something. It'll be fun.

I got lots of new clothes for Christmas which makes me really happy because can I be honest here? I haven't gotten new clothes in ages. What a treat. I was starting to feel really out of style and now I feel a bit perked up.

I also got new dishes from my mom and dad and I am SO pumped about that. Call me crazy, but having pretty new dishes gets me more motivated to make meals and put more effort in. And I can ALWAYS use more motivation in that area.

Well...I have a couple more weeks of not too much business and then BAM. Tax season. My life will feel a bit more busy for a few months. Oh well...I wont be studying for the CPA exam...I wont be taking classes...and I am really almost done with being treated...and my body feels so much better...so this tax season should be a cinch! Right? ha...ha...I have a feeling I'll still feel stressed at times :)

I have been chuggin away thinking about what I want most for my resolutions in 2013. I have already made lists...and already crossed some off that I realized aren't as important as the others and don't need to be there...and I've been trying to really narrow down what is most important. I think I've got it pretty close to where I want it. Again, I just have a feeling of hope that 2013 will be our lucky year! We shall see.

2012 wasn't too shabby. It's been a lot of just trying to get by. Trying to keep up with treatments....trying not to have a bad attitude...and all of that wasn't bad at all. We have been very blessed. I am happy today for many things...and I plan on getting even happier next year!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas! I will most likely not be posting till the New Year. Have a good week!

PS- Did I tell you I am pretty positive I have a bone fracture in the top of my left foot? It has been hurting for over a month now. It started that everytime after Zumba the next day the top of my foot would hurt everytime I walked on it. I thought...eh, whatever. Cause it always went away after that next day. Well...after a few weeks of that it started hurting EVERY day. That's when I took note and thought, hmmm....something is wrong here. So I did the good ol' google "What does it mean when the top of my foot hurts after I work out?" and what do you know? I saw a bunch of results saying that I most likely had a stress fracture that is caused by high impact activity (like maybe jumping, twisting, lunging, etc in Zumba?) and the only way to get better is to stay off it. So...I haven't been to Zumba in weeks and it STILL hurts. Clay told me he can tell I'm not favoring it and not giving it much thought and that is why it's not getting better. He told me I need to favor it and if that means limping, then I need to limp. And it's just so hard cause I don't NEED to limp in order to function...it has to be a conscious effort to limp. And it's just such a drag. I'm trying. I really am. Cause I'm SICK of not being able to work out and I'm SICK of it hurting all the time! Nothing like this has ever happened to me. All my friends have these random injuries all the time and I never got it. NOW I do. It's awful. So....now you know that story. Cya!

Merry Christmas

First off, wow. I am so happy right now! Even though I have slight menstrual cramps (sorry, tmi?), have ALREADY eaten too much candy and feel a bit sick to the stomach, and I look really special (morning bangs aren't the best look on me)...I am really happy because I don't have to work until next Thursday! Halleluiah! Then I'll have the weekend off with my sister and her family. And oh...lets not forget CHRISTMAS is right around the corner!

We have barely any presents under our tree, and even less for ourselves! It's okay...most of them are at Patty and Paul's house.

So I have been thinking a lot lately and figured I'd share with you. I've had a lot of random opportunities to question in my head...Do I really believe in Jesus? This might come as a shock to probably everyone, but I really have had these thoughts in my head a lot the past couple years but especially probably this last 6 months. I don't think it's me questioning my faith, or having doubts. It's me renewing my faith in myself, and making sure I'm where I need to be.

With Lyme Disease constantly giving me trouble emotionally and physically, I ask myself...do I really believe in this stuff? Is this really just a temporary state? Do I really believe in Jesus? Can he really comfort me in these times? And if I'm truly looking and seeking that affirmation, I receive it. Sometimes with the most gentle of affirmations...that yes, He is here with me and I DO believe in Him. Sometimes it is really hard to feel him around and it is really hard to remember. Sometimes I feel VERY alone. But then I look at the small touches of His hand and the many many small miracles in Clay's and my life. And I remember, Yes, Danielle, He is here and He has a plan.

Then times like last week...when things are so horrifying and hard for me to understand. I think...do I believe in Jesus? Is he real? And I'm not going to lie...sometimes Satan can get a good hold on me and make me wonder for a bit. But I really do always come back to it. Yes, He IS real. He loves all of us. And there are some moments that really grab me when a thought suddenly enters my mind and I realize, wait a second. He loves him too. In fact, he chose Jesus before we came here. All of us did. And it all comes full circle for me.

I realize that we all come to earth because we all chose Jesus. We are all completely innocent and wonderful when we enter this earth and then we are shot with tons of trials and tests. God gave us choices, agency, the ability to make our own minds up. So it's our choice to decide what we do with these trials. I can live my life hating those who make horrible and evil decisions...and then my life will be that much less. I will have that much less light. Or I could choose to forgive and love and make myself better after seeing evil bad choice, and have that much more light! I decided that I choose LIGHT. Love. Happiness.

Over and over the thought keeps coming in my mind lately, "Contention is of the devil". I've thought that in so many situations lately. I feel like sometimes in today's world things can be really confusing and look right, sound right, but doesn't quite feel right. And I kinda feel like that phrase helps me solve a lot of those confusing situations. Contention doesn't just happen between people, it can happen right inside my soul. So if something makes me feel contention within myself...it must not be right.

All I know is...Christ is King. There are a lot of great people to look up to in this world but the ultimate example will always be the Savior. Thank heavens I have this knowlege! Thank heavens I know of Christ! I know He has saved me and helped me through tough times and I know he will continue to my whole life. I'm so grateful.

I don't KNOW with a surety that all I believe and feel is true...there's no way to know until I meet my Savior again. But I sure continue to have hope and faith, and those two things help me continue to go on in this crazy world. I have hope and I have faith that this world is surely NOT the end. And one thing I DO know...is the more I try to be like the Savior, the more I am happy. So...even though I am FAR FAR FAR from perfect at this...I keep trying. Like President Monson said, "Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow'". One of my favorite quotes. Cause it's so dang applicable to me.

I will keep trying. Love you all and Merry Christmas!

Today sucks so bad

Well today started just fine. I went to bed around 3:30 am after going and taking a nap while watching the Hobbit at the midnight premeire. I woke up before my alarm clock even went off for work...got up, got ready, read a talk from conference since I had time, and headed to work. The talk I read was called "First observe, Then Serve". It talked about how we need to be like Christ and observe individuals and see their needs and serve them. Christ served others one by one. Individually. That's how we should serve. 

Work was slow and then my boss came in and told me to look on Yahoo and there had been a shooting. 

I read and watched the news as I realized some sick sick soul had shot and killed 27 people including 18 children. 

They weren't my children, they weren't children I even know. But it hurt really really bad. I immediately thought of my nieces and nephews. I thought about the parents and the horrible fear they must be feeling. I thought of those poor children who have all lost their innocence so quickly. I thought of the husbands and wives of the teachers, the kids of the teachers, everyone in that town. I thought of the primary children I taught in primary, I just couldn't stop thinking. 

So I tried really really hard to keep my tears in until my lunch break.

I called my mom right away because when I'm really really emotional, she always knows what to say. I started saying, "I just don't understand why he had to attack an elementary school..." when I saw flashing lights behind me. I haven't been pulled over since our first year of marriage, like...6 years ago! 

I pulled over and the cop said, "I clocked you at 32, license and registration"...I said, "Really?" and I gave him my license and registration. He goes and sits in his car for what feels like an eternity and comes back with a ticket for $156.

Now, if he had said something like- "Were you aware you were going this fast? Were you in a hurry?" etc, like some cops have done...I probably would've burst into tears saying, "Honestly I just found out about the shooting in that elementary school and I was so distracted I guess I wasn't paying enough attention. I know I was going under the regular speed limit...but I guess I was a bit shook up and distracted" But he didn't even give me a second of his time. 

So...incase you didn't figure it out, I was in a school zone. So technically I was 12 over...but I was also 3 under the regular speed limit. It wasn't like I was some reckless person. Whatever. 

Anyway, after he walked away I literally started BAWLING my eyes out. Uncontrollable. So I waited till I got home (by the way it's not illegal to talk on phone while driving in Idaho), and called my mom and cried to her and she made me feel better.

Sigh...the world is really confusing for me. But I will just try to be nicer and kinder and more loving to everyone I come in contact with. And maybe my small contribution to society will make some sort of a difference. Just like the talk I read this morning...maybe if we all strive to be more aware of each individual and observe their needs and then act on the observation and serve and help them, people will feel more loved and have more support, and then maybe less bad things would happen. A girl can dream. 

Fa la la la laaaaaa

So, I have come upon some great holiday music lately. And I wanted to share...so I think I might just share one song that I am loving in particular each day :) It'll get me on here to post!

Today's song...Sleigh Ride by FUN! So, I fell inlove with the band Fun when they came out with "We are Young"...and then of course I love Some Nights, and then I don't really know how I found this song but when I heard it I was like, HOLLA! And was severely disappointed when I realized they only have this ONE holiday song. I think they need to come out with a whole christmas album. Whose with me?



It's just a real fun adaptation for that song I think :)

Anywho...tonight is our Relief Society's Christmas party...which is a favorite things party! Woot woot! We are all supposed to bring three of our favorite thing. They encouraged homemade items so I made three twisty headbands (tutorial here) except this time I wasn't lazy and I made it so there were NO exposed seams. Much more quality! So anyhow, I will end up with three things by the end of the night so it sounds pretty fantastic!

Idaho has been really mild and we pretty much haven't gotten a real snow yet. It's odd. But the past few days have been really wet and chilly and my bones don't like it. Oh well. The REALLY odd thing is...I want it to snow! I think it's because the Christmas season feels a bit off without it! Eyeyeyeee...what am I thinking?

I have been thinking of the resolutions I want to make for 2013...I'm thinkin up some good ones! We shall see...I want them to be really good ones that are right for me.

Well, that will have to be all for now.

Megan and Greg's Visit

I realized today if I don't dump all my pictures off my phone and get this posted I might never blog again! So I decided to just do two big collages. That's the best I can do right now!

Megan and her family came to visit for the weekend and it was great!

I just have to say, seriously? I have the cutest nieces and nephews in existence. I'm sorry- it's just the simple truth. I mean look at those two.

Brighton is the happiest baby I've ever seen in my life. He is just so content and happy. AND SO DELICIOUSLY CUTE! I couldn't get enough kisses or squeezes in. 

Scarlet is the sweetest girl. So well behaved. And so cute. She loved Dante so much and it was SO PRECIOUS to watch!

She was always hugging him and petting him and trying to sneak kisses in. 

She would always ask me when I got up for the morning, "Dante? Dante sleeping?". 

We went to look at my friend's chickens and picked up some eggs, we went to the pet store and looked at all the animals, we went to Patty and Pauls for sunday dinner, and mostly just hung out and enjoyed each others company! Clay and Greg made a brazillian meal of beans and rice, and these yummy cheesy rolls. It was great! I also took Megan to Zumba with me the night she got here and it was so fun as always...but I got a horrid allergic reaction where my ears basically swelled up to the point of practically closing off. It was really fun. So we had to leave early. Oh well...we got a solid 30-40 minutes in. 

I loved having them around. It was so nice cause I was really getting homesick and family sick. I miss my family so much- all of them. So it was nice to get a quick fix. And I have to say...when I went through the pictures and videos on my phone today...oh I missed them! They didn't help with my baby hunger.

Lizzie's fam is coming in a few weeks! Right after Christmas! It will be great. 

Well, it's time for me to get busy busy! I have so much to do, but its all fun stuff. Like making presents and shopping. I really only have one or two annoying things to do...and that's cleaning the kitchen- YUCK! I also need to clean my sewing room....bah humbug. It's okay though cause I just watch tv while I do that. 

I plan on getting real Christmasy up in here these next few days! So get ready!

Here are some videos I took of the kiddos...sorry...most of them are of Scarlet with Dante...I couldn't help it- I just thought it was so cute!