I have to admit, that through this trial of Lyme Disease, I have had the thought come to me, "Maybe I am being punished...I should've been a better person....If only I was more perfect." These thoughts aren't constant companions, but in my weak moments...they pop up.
I think the biggest trial for me right now, is having a constant companion of fear...that this disease is never going away. It can get wearing and it's easy to think, is this my life forever? Well, I know it's not. This is but a small moment, and it WILL get better.
I was reading this talk by Elder Eyring. It's called "Mountains to Climb". It was so good! I was reading it because in Young Women's today we are talking about why we have adversity, and that is one of the talks in the lesson. It was so good! I recommend reading it.
While reading, I was reminded that trials are NOT punishments. Yes, certain actions can result in negative consequences, but that is just the law of cause and effect. When I get a trial, like Lyme Disease, it's not because I did something wrong, or that Heavenly Father is punishing me. The fact is, we all have trials of different natures, and they all affect us differently. In fact, I could get the same exact trial as you- but it could be a totally different trial for me because of my life experiences, my body, my brain, etc. That's why it's so important not to judge how others react to their trials, or how they handle them.
I've been reminded a lot lately that the whole point of being a good person, reading scriptures, praying, is so that you can be firmly planted, strong, immovable, when the inevitable storm happens. Because ALL of us face storms. The nature of life is to test us. So the commandments, the talks, the advice from church leaders, all of them aren't to say, "If you do this, your life will be perfect!" It's to say, "If you do this, you will better handle it." It's just the truth. I've come to realize, the less I nourish my soul, the less I focus on good, and God, the less I'm able to handle my trials. I find myself constantly drowning in self-pity, and BARELY keeping it together.
Then...when I turn around and start feeding my spirit, and partaking of the goodness that is on this earth for this very purpose, suddenly life is happier. Life is easier. It is not so heavy. I can handle it.
I'm so grateful that I have that knowledge. I may have to keep relearning it through my life, but at least I keep coming back to it.
God is good...and life is good. Life is HARD. But if I pray, search the scriptures, and have FAITH, it can be good!
Ta ta for now!
5 comments:
Oh my goodness, Danielle. Have I mentioned how inspiring you are? I feel uplifted every time I read your blog. I seriously think that if you published your blog a lot of people would benefit from it. I want to put your quotes on my wall like a talk from conference! You are so BRAVE and AMAZING. You are going to be so far ahead of the rest of us in the next life. I watched the 'Mountains to Climb' Mormon Message yesterday because I was just in a bad mood and needed some inspiration. I love Mormon Messages. They inspire me every time. You should watch it. It was beautiful. I especially liked the quote (I put it on my bulletin board) 'If the foundation of faith is not embedded in out hearts the power to endure will crumble.' It kind of reminded me that even as we tell ourselves 'I'll make it through this' we won't be able to make it through everything without constant faith. You have that constant faith, Danielle, and you inspire me to keep my faith strong. I love you.
i will have to read that article. thanks for sharing. oh danyelli, you didn't do anythign to deserve this, nothing you did earned this trial, and you already know that, but never doubt it. I HATE that you have lyme disease and I pray every day that you will be cured. I love what you said about not judging others trails. cancer really taught me that, you just have no idea what people are going through, and even if you've been through the SAME thing, we still don't know because we don't have the same bodies or minds. I love you. You are so strong, inspiring and lovely.
Wow, I don't think anyone could have said that better! I am comforted by Pres Monsons talks. I think In almost everyone he reminds us that we are here for a mortal experience. So we will have trials and hard times. But we can be happy if we live the commandments and focus on all the good there is in our day. I love that! He often prefaces it with "we live in troubled times, but men are that they have joy". That may not be exact, but that is the jistt of it. I also feel like the greater the trial for those that are righteous is because we all have to be tested. Those that are more righteous need harder challenges so they can grow. If the challenge were to easy, there would be no growth. You are near to perfect and always have been, ask any of your siblings. Love you!!
Good post. I have been thinking about just this the last few days. I've been meaning to write a similar post. Different, but similar. I'm glad things are GOOD! I really am interested in that oil. I'll have to look it up. Love you!
Danielle, you are an inspiring and amazing young woman. For one so young you have so many good answers, and you have such great faith. I am sorry you have felt that you your trials are because you have done something wrong, really the opposite is the case. You are almost perfect and Heavenly Father loves you so much. My sister Sherry was very perfect and her trials were so much harder than the rest of us had, but she never doubted, and I see that same strength in you. I love you so much hang in there, and you will continue to be blessed.
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