I think that my big lesson I need to learn in this life is Patience.
Seattle sucked. I mean...it was good...we found more answers...but the answers are what sucked.
Clay is way sicker than we realized.
I'm way sicker than we realized.
Parasites that probably some of you have, and your bodies can handle, kind of have taken over our bodies cause we are already so sick. This can be taken care of with time and the right medicine, but it just complicates the whole Lyme treatment.
Doctor thinks that with this new revelation of how sick we really are, we probably shouldn't think of having kids for 3 years unless some miracle happens and we are better so much quicker.
So...not that I want kids because of other people...but...probably by the time I'm thinking of getting pregnant, my friends and sisters will have at least 1 if not 2 more kids! Clay and I will have been married like...8 years.
A couple weeks ago at church I had to leave after sacrament cause I felt so nauseous (I think a reaction from our iv treatment the day before) and so I told my Primary president so they could get someone to cover my class. Of course, later she asked if I'm pregnant. This is probably something I'll just have to get used to for the next 3 years. Don't get me wrong...I'm grateful at the same time. I mean...can you imagine if we did have a kid? With Lyme Disease? While we are in the shape we are right now? Probably a bad idea. There are people with multiple kids that have Lyme, along with themselves. I honestly don't know how they do it. There MUST be angels living in their home. I can barely handle me and Clay.
I think I need to post more pictures of myself up here. hah! Talk about boosting my spirits! Thanks to everyone who was so nice about my pants-alteration dealio.
There's obviously so much more details about our health that I don't mention on the blog. But it's just boring. And depressing. Seriously parasites are just part of the complicated equation. Oh well. I know this is all depressing and everything but I kinda just need to get it off my chest...and maybe it'll explain why I haven't really commented the past few days on anyone's blog! I already knew that we were looking at around 2 years for having a baby...but I don't know I guess I was just all hopeful that we would get better faster than she thought...but then we go and she adds another year to it and tells us how bad of shape we are. I just need a bit to accept it I guess.
PLEASE- don't tell me how young I am. I already know that. I know it's a blessing. I know I will still be in baby-making age...so no need to tell me that. The thing is, I want babies now. I don't just want...i ACHE for them. So you know...telling me how young I am doesn't really do much anymore. And I know that 3 years is so short. And I know that when I look at my entire life, this is such a short time. That in 5 years I will probably have a baby and look back and think, oh if only I knew it would all work out for the best. I know, I have faith in the Lord's plan and I know that this will all work out just fine. That's why I say I just need time to accept it and move on. It's just this immediate after-fact reaction that I'm dealing with.
On a lighter note, a week from today is tax day. What a relief. Have you gotten your taxes done?
Another thing- Pia got kicked off. Which everyone's freaking about. But honestly? Clay and I talked about this...the next day after Idol, did anyone think of Pia's performance? I sure didn't. I always forgot about it. She's amazing- one of the best singers for sure...but boring. But, I still wish Stefano or Jacob went home instead. I had a dream that Haley was in the top 2! Which I would LOVE! Her and Casey are my fav's.
Okedoke...till next time. I promise the next post will be happier.