It's hard for me to post lately cause I feel like I'm such a downer or such a boring person. All I have going on in my life is taxes and Lyme Disease.
This week has been one emotional hayride. Towards the beginning of the week I really was just like- holy smokes, my life sucks and I basically hate everything. I pretty much was struggling quite a bit. And then it was like...right when I felt like, you know...did Heavenly Father forget about me? Something happened that was basically so blatantly heaven-sent. I don't really feel like sharing it with the world right now, maybe one day- but I really felt like Heavenly Father was just sending me a little poke, like...I'm here. I need to have more faith. I need to read my scriptures more. I need to pray more.
One thing that has been SO amazingly wonderful is all those meals my momma made me! Oh deary me what a difference it's made. When I think of all the ways it's helped it's overwhelming to me. Life is definitely easier.
I honest to goodness wonder how people endure health issues if they are atheist. Or don't believe in life beyond this earth life. If I thought this was it...MAN it'd be so much harder. I just take SO much comfort in the fact that this is happening for a reason. Somehow, I will grow from this...and if I endure this life, I can only look forward to an amazing life on the other side. Heavenly Father has promised that if we endure, we can't even imagine how great of blessings he has in store for us. This thought makes me happy.
I have been thinking a lot about babies lately. And how much I love them. I told Clay the other day...and this may sound CRAZY...but I seriously feel like I can feel our future kids....something. Not presence or anything...it's just like I feel like I miss them. When I haven't even met them. In this life anyway. I just...I don't know feel like they are anxious and waiting...and it's just this weird feeling that has been sort of hard for me because it makes me SO excited for kids. And not even just KIDS...like...OUR kids. I just KNOW that my family that I will have...is going to be the absolute joy of my life. I know that having kids and being a family is my whole point in this life. I'm just so excited! It's hard to have to wait. I just re-read this paragraph and I bet it will freak some people out or weird them out. I dunno. It's just the truth.
Well, this post turned out to be super serious. I think I'll go sew something now. I am actually feeling up to it! Yay!
Thank you for praying for me and my husband. I feel very loved.