Eclipse

So I've just completed Eclipse for the second time. I'm kind of going out of order here. I was really in the mood for twilight and Patty (I really only read books that Patty buys...she is so nice to let me borrow them all- and she always buys books that I reccommend) had lent twilight to the neighbor. Harmoni was reading New Moon, so I started reading Eclipse. She now has twilight back, so I will read that next:) hehe. Well ANYWAY- what a ride. I loved it just as much if not more the second time. All I know is that these books are the most heart wrenching things ever! Seriously, how could you not suffer with pain for Jacob by the end? AH! I am really wracking my brain of how this series will end! I can completely see how Bella could end up with Edward, and become a vampire- BUT! I can COMPLETELY see as well, Bella ending with Jacob. Ah! This story is lovely. Really, I love it. I am going to quote a part of the book that Darin once quoted to me,

"He's like a drug for you, Bella." His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. "I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun." pg 599 (that was Jacob)

"The worst part is that I saw the whole thing- our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can't, and it's killing me. It's like Sam and Emily, Jake-I never had a choice. I always knew nothing would change. Maybe that's why I was fighting against you so hard." pg 600 (bella)

They love each other so much it is SO PAINFUL! I am aching for them both. AND edward! I ache for him as well. I don't know what to do about them. Thank GOODNESS august is just around the corner! And guess what?! We are going to be in Oregon when the book comes out. Ugh. I don't know what to do- I'm not going to Oregon to just sit and read all day, ignoring all life around me (that is what I would do when I got the book). I thought of ordering it on cd, to listen to on the way home, or getting the book sent to my mom's house to read it on the way home...I may get car sick though. I don't know! UGH!!!!! Oh well. All will be okay. I'm just so excited!

Today was a pretty good day. I haven't gotten much done. I read a lot but I give the excuse of my suffering shoulders. I have come to realize that I must have a weak back and neck. The slightest things can strain them and I am in rotten pain for hours. I merely took off my backpack in my class and BAM- horrific pain in my right shoulder to the point of difficulty breathing. I decided I should lay down for a while- so I laid down and read the remainder of Eclipse. I think it helped too. I feel much better.

It was sunny and lovely. My boss bought us all ice cream-good ice cream too- not just like a vanilla fake cone. It was great. He buys us lunch and treats often. He's not around a lot though- he travels mostly. But when he IS around, he treats us a lot. I think that his motive works too- because everytime I feel like he is being so nice that I should work extra hard.

Well- that's all for now. I need to do some reading- accounting. Not nearly as exciting as Eclipse. Actually, not exciting at all! Love you all!

Failed

Yeah- pretty much, I didn't even last a day! I think Monday night I broke BOTH goals. Yes, I think this shows my weakness, but I also think that I've decided it's okay for me to do these things- EXCEPT, I totally don't watch Grey's Anatomy anymore. 1st, the links don't work anymore...hehe...2nd, it really isn't the best show and I watched a couple clips from future seasons that just confirmed the lack of morals. I decided that I am not that addicted to it. It wasn't a hard decision to make. No more Grey's anatomy. BUT, blogging- eh, it's fine. Like my Grandma said on my previous post- this is how I escape my endless stress of school and work. I think all will be fine.

Anyway- I figured I'd better clear the air since I'll probably be commenting on some of your blogs. he he.

I love summer. I LOVE IT! I don't know how anyone can prefer winter over summer. Seriously. Some people say, "you can only take off so many clothes, but you can always put on more layers"- well guess what??! Summer just feels good. Winter just feels BAD. The sun puts me in a great mood and I love having warmth surround me. It's true. Even if I'm sweating. You want to know what I hate? Cold cutting into my skin, causing my body to ache and pain and seriously almost wish for death. Rexburg does that to you. I've decided my body is probably still in the thawing process right now- it will take a long time to de-frost.

Today in my Persuasion class, I had to present to the class on a really short-notice basis, what my group is planning on presenting for our community action presentation. Our topic is way controversial because it's on the HONOR CODE- which for those who don't go to BYU-Idaho involves the dress and grooming standards, which in my class, that very day, 4 people were violating obviously. What we want is for a test like series of questions that students are required to answer (multiple choice, easy EASY questions, with the answer right infront of your face) that have to do with the honor code, the reasons behind it, and role-play scenarios, to keep reinforcing awareness to the students each semester what they signed they would follow when they came here. Not a test saying things like- are you worthy? More so...creating understanding. For instance, I didn't' know WHY we weren't allowed to wear flip-flops to class. WELL, after I've researched talks and talked to certain faculty, it is very clear to me and I totally respect it now. Anyway, this may not make much sense, but it is a total distraction in class when people violate the honor code, and we have evidence because of surveys we've done around campus- this is why we are doing this. Well anyway, I knew it would be kind of touchy but I decided to go for it, and I had 3 minutes to explain our proposal, and then I took questions. Well- seriously, as soon as I said,"questions", half the class raised their hands. I just smiled and took them- most of them were complete STUPID questions- I kid you not, they weren't even listening to me when I spoke, all they knew was that I supported the honor code and they didn't. So silly. Like an example- some guy said with all seriousness: "Do you think that this test would downplay the authority of the priesthood?" I was like- uh...WHAT?!, "Well, we have ecclesiastical interviews to determine if we are worthy, and then you are requiring that an additional test must be passed in order to go to school- that is saying that the priesthood isn't good enough,". Oh. My. Goodness. Did he not listen to a word I said? The test has NOTHING TO DO WITH WORTHINESS! I told him so. Then there were more idiotic questions that I had to answer politely. Anyway- our teacher thinks its a GREAT idea. She loved it, and thought I faced the questions well. You probably don't even care about that I now realize, but I just typed it all our so I'm just going to leave it there. hm.

I am SO sick of my hair. I think I look gross and stupid. I have it in a ponytail or a bun more than half the time. I want to go get it cut or done, but I can't justify spending the money. I don't need it. College life is fun....YEAH right.

Can I tell you right now that I despise group work? I'm glad that I most likely wont go into the work force, and if I do, I will be an accountant who doesn't have to be involved in lots of group work- I am working with a group on that presentation I was just talking about and I am struggling immensely. I have my ways of doing things, they have theirs. It's driving me CRAZY! Me and one girl are constantly budding heads. And of course, I always think I'm right. Right now I am thinking, well of course I'm right. Yet, I have to sit back, and think- well...it is possible I'm wrong. There are other ways that could be right. The thing is, I like my way, and I think that though it may not be the only right way, it is totally the BEST way. You know? I am so prideful. At one point I just decided, okay. Let them do as they please. They want a good grade too- what's the worst that could happen? That probably sounds easy peasy to you but it was a very big move for me.

K. That's it for now. What a whiny post. OH well. Summer is amazing. I LOVE it. I can't wait to live in California. But I can't wait for that for a number of reasons. Love you!!!!!!!!!

20 more days...

That sounds like SO little when I put it that way. Only 20 more days of school- WAIT! No- 19! Fourth of July! Anyway. That is great. I'm pumped. I've decided that I am not going to blog, or look at blogs until the weekend. A lot of you might think...uh...how hard is that? Well, I've decided I'm a very VERY addictive person. I think that is how you would say it. I get addicted VERY easily. I am so addicted to blogs it's pathetic. I'm addicted in other things too. For instance, I've been watching "Grey's Anatomy" online. A LOT. I decided to go off that for a week too. This is embarrassing, but true. I just get stuck on things. I feel very grateful that I'm a Latter Day Saint because if I weren't, I fear that I'd be sucked into drugs and alchohol. (Now I don't know if that is the right spelling, so bear with me- this computer isn't spell checking anything). ANYWAY- I decided that this week, no blog, no grey's anatomy. HOPEFULLY, this will allow me to study better, and help out with the cleanliness of our home a little more. I told Clay this, and he said- what are you going to do with your free time? I was like- HELLO- I don't have free time, that's the problem- I'm making free time when I don't have it! Also, if I DO have free time, hopefully I will spend it on something more worth while you know? I mean- I don't know how many of you have seen Grey's Anatomy, but I'll tell you right now- I'ts not the most admirable series. I could DEFINITELY find something better to do with my time, I hope. So- if you blog, and I don't comment- don't worry, I will on friday probably:) I hope I can keep it up.

So, I decided I'd blog today to get it over with- and be done until friday. How sad that I am having to COMMIT to something like this- I know it would be way easy for most of you. Oh well. This is my life.

Weather is better. THANK GOODNESS! I realized that I haven't mentioned much about Clay. He is still improving IMMENSLEY. It's amazing. He is doing great. Still symptoms and still some hurt, but focus on the word some. It's incredible really. To put it simply, the past 2 sunday's we played basketball with his family and he wasn't dead the next day. WE- me and HIM. Not just shooting hoops either. One-on-one action. It's great. He's so happy. Thank you again, really, for all your prayers.

I'm sorry dad, but I've decided I am SO SICK of accounting. I think it's BORING, HARD, AND NOT FUN AT ALL! I do think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am in my last year of college and SO sick of school. I'm still glad this is what I majored in. I think it is a WAY practical major, and I am a very practical person. Therefore, it works. But- I'm totally sick of it.

I think almost everyone I know is pregnant. I kid you not- it seems like half our relief society is pregnant, wives of men I work with are pregnant, or women have little newborns in their arms. I'm NOT kidding. Every sunday I find out someone new is pregnant. And I just KNOW there are more out there that haven't hit tht 2-3 month mark yet when people generally announce it to the public. Don't get me wrong, I'm way happy for them- they are cute, they should have babies. It just doesn't really help with the whole baby-hungry thing, but feeling like nows not the time thing. Too much information? Hm.

WELL- that's pretty much it. I love you all!!!! Wish me luck on me efforts to stay away from the blog. Oh dear.

FRIDAY!!!

YAY! Oh, how this week has STRIVED for the weekend! Today, I already gave one presentation and have to give another in an hour! It just so happened that my two classes I would have to present in during the semester, assigned me to the same day to present. It made me a little stressed this week, but I am SO glad it will be over today! I heard that I did well in my earlier class. We were fighting the IRS side in a case about overhauling engines and how they should be capitalized. Fun stuff huh? hehe. Anyway, I think we did well. The taxpayer side was kind of confusing. ANYwho, this weekend will be way fun! Tonight Clay and I are going OUT to Original Thai, our new favorite restaurant, and going to see 10,000 B.C. in the cheap seats. This date is our 2 year anniversary celebration (which by the way, was on tuesday-we decided to wait until the weekend since I had tons of homework and group projects that day). We are pumped. TOMORROW- we are going to Guitars Unplugged! It is this event at BYU-Idaho that occurs every semester where students and their bands just perform! It's awesome! We are going to the best of show, so all the...not so good...performers are weeded out. We are mainly going because Clay's commercial is going to air there. His company made a commercial that was basically his idea, and it will air in between acts. We are way excited- it is so awesome, we tried putting it on the blog, but the file was too big:(

I finished "The Host"...and LOVED IT! Oh, it was lovely. Stephenie Meyer sure knows how to trap you into her books so that it is IMPOSSIBLE to think about anything else, and IMPOSSIBLE to put the book down! I seriously am STILL thinking about the book, and I finished it yesterday morning. I really really loved it. I was sad, and am still sad, that it is over. I want more. Now I am just that much more excited for Breaking Dawn. I hope Stephenie Meyer keeps writing lots of books, I really like her style. Her characters are so typical and realistic, and she can get your emotions going like crazy! I really think she is soooo talented. Wouldn't that be amazing to affect people like that?

Well, I hate to talk about the weather, but I really am getting a little annoyed of this no summer business. Is it like that for you guys too? It rains ALL the time! No consistency either. Part of the day, clear sunny day, the other part....doomsday. I need the sun. I have been dealing with clouds since October!

That's all for now. I love you all!!!

Hm...

So- I have to stay up until midnight tonight to register for my classes. Yes, I'd probably get most of them, but those dang home and family classes are in such demand I didn't want to take a chance. That's right, I register at 12:01 on the dot, with an order of classes ranked at least amount of seats available first, to most seats available last. I am an organization freak when it comes to these kinds of things- the horror of this entire ordeal is- BYU-IDAHO WEBSITE ISN'T WORKING!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHG. I'm stressing. I keep hitting refresh, it says it takes too long for BYU-I website to respond. WHAT TO DO! I can't go back to bed, I have to keep trying before midnight, and then...THEN...what if it DOES work and I don't have my list of classes in their order? UGH. I was NOT expecting this.

You are all probably thinking- how many posts has she done this week? Who stinking knows. I know probably way too many. How odd too- I am now working 20 hours a week, going to school full time and reading a book that I can't seem to put down, yet I am blogging more than ever. This doesn't add up. Oh well. I'm a bloggin fool and I can't seem to stop.

I decided I want to write a book. I know Megan mentioned this once on her blog, which I still think she should do- but hers was more of experiences of life, stories and such, if I remember right. I am completely inspired by Stephenie Meyer. I am hoping not to sound obsessive or anything- I just am realizing that these books affect me SO MUCH. I think about them as I go to sleep, I think about them as I rise from my bed. I think about them in the shower. I think of all things- I think, what if I were in that position? What if I had another mind in my head? What if Clay were a vampire or a werewolf? Etc Etc. WHAT IF? All these thoughts raging around my already crazy head. When I read these books, I am COMPLETELY filled with emotion and I am almost entirely UNable to put it down. I get hooked. And I know I am not alone in this. I am just so inspired that someone can create so much power in one story, to change people's life! And I LOVE these stories! I see symbolism, I am entertained, I feel like my brain is actually working when I read these things. I want to do that! Now- I obviously feel completely incapable and uncreative. But, I want to try. It's worth a shot, right? I have no idea when this process will start, but I just keep thinking about it. Who knows if this would ever happen, it's just a thought.

Well, that's all for now. Love ya!

Last thought on this- I PROMISE!

Now I have to credit my amazingly knowlegable mother for this insight, but I couldn't just give you all this information and NOT share this with you! Again, I must tell you all- I don't think you're going to hell if you eat meat. I don't judge ANYONE who eats meat. I simply want to inform. I am not vegan. I wish to be someday. I keep going back and forth. I really think I am only hesitant just because I am not educated in how I can replace certain things in baking. I really do want to try it though! But just know that I struggle with this as well, I just think people need to know about these things. I am not trying to guilt people into doing it or anything. SERIOUSLY, don't think I am judging or caring if you agree. ONLY REASON FOR ALL OF THIS IS TO INFORM AND EXPLAIN WHY I AM MOVING TOWARDS THIS NEW DIRECTION. Anyhow, here is one last scripture to ponder on:)
Genesis 9:11 (JOSEPH SMITH TRANSLATION)
11 And surely, blood shall not be shed, only for meat, to save your lives; and the blood of every beast will I require at your hands.

Yep, I'm not lyin. You can look it up. Isn't that nuts?! It really scares me, to be quite honest. Anywho, that will be all. Now all you will hear is updates on how I'm doing to become a vegan!

I LOVE YOU!

PS. I have been reading the Host, and I totally love it. I know Rebecca didn't like it as much, I think...but I am TOTALLY into it. I don't know that it's for everyone though.

Regarding the Word of Wisdom and my paper

OKAY- I KNEW this would come up. I am prepared. You will all drop your jaws at this, but I think the word of wisdom AGREES WITH ME! You will see. In this post I will use doctrine as well as my own interpretation. Of course, I'm no Prophet, so my opinions are stricktly MY INTERPRETATIONS! I feel very right about them though:) Like I have time to do this...I am sitting at school, but hey, I want to so I'm going to!

D&C 89:12-14
12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
14 All grain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

Okay- I bolded verse 13 for a reason. This is my opinion before even THINKING about the word of wisdom (and I didn't include any of this in my paper becuase it was strictly academic and it was meant for non-LDS audiences as well). Think about the times that the Word of Wisdom was given. Think about Bible times and Book of Mormon times, when Nephi had to go get animals for food. Did they have refridgeration systems? Did they have greenhouses? Did they have UPS and Airplanes? I am HOPING you all realize that they DID NOT have these things. Therefore, how in the world could they get their protein besides meat in the winter? They could not. You do realize that the Word of Wisdom is constantly talking about "The season thereof". Why do you think this is? I believe it is because in that day, herbs, grains, fruits, veggies, didn't all grow in all seasons. ESPECIALLY in the winter! People don't easily make things grow in the winter, AND natural growing isn't very quick- without greenhouses and special seeds or fertilizer. They had very little options back then in the ways of food and protein. OF COURSE Heavenly Father is going to tell them to use the animals because he didn't want them to DIE! To repeat the verse,
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.
Now. Do we have winter or famine in this present day and age? You may say, YES- hello? November through February (or if you live in idaho, September through May). Think about it. This was when there were no refridgerators. This was when people lived in TENTS. This was when ovens were wood and fire. This was when people had NO WAYS of growing things or storing things or shipping things from Africa and California. Do we have a winter? OF COURSE NOT! We live indoors with the heat cranked to around 70 degrees throughout the entire winter. We are never without food because we have the entire world to ship it to us in an instant. This doesn't apply to us anymore. Winter and famine dont exist for the world today. Heavenly Father said that it is pleasing to Him if we DON'T use it unless we have winter or famine. The fact is- we are able to get our protein from grains, legumes, ANYTHING, YEAR ROUND! Also note that D&C 49: 21 says,
21 And wo be unto man that sheddeth blood or that wasteth flesh and hath no need.
Do we need to shed the blood of these animals? I am no animal rights person, though I do kind of feel bad considering they will be in the spirit world- but we really don't need this meat. There is a scripture that Mom can quote but I can't remember the reference that says we will be accounted for every animal killed that wasn't needed. HELLO BURGER KING! I feel bad for whoever invented the triple patty burgers- whatever they're called. Anyway- I understand where you are all coming from, but I feel like the scriptures agree with me. We all say moderation in all things, but if we thought that way, it would be okay to eat a lot of things or do a lot of things that aren't good for us- I think that you can still apply this here. I mean- moderation doesn't include coffee or alcohol. It shouldn't include meat either- it causes cancer! We can still have moderation in all the hundreds of foods we can still eat as vegans.

Why hasn't Heavenly Father revealed this to the present day saints? Because we couldn't handle it! You can see that in the comments of my paper. People LOVE MEAT. The society hasn't even accepted it, and the church wouldn't do something so far out that would lead investigators, and in fact MEMBERS, away because they think we are crazy. The Lord waits for the people to be ready to unleash new things. I'm not telling you NOT to eat meat. I'm telling you what I believe is the truth. I don't think Heavenly Father is going to be angry with us for eating meat every once in a while, but I do think that he will be angry if we are eating it more than necessary. I am still working out my moral dilemma of what I want to do exactly, but I really do want to try to eventually be full vegan. I know, logically, scientifically, and even spiritually that this is the healthiest way. It may not be the tastiest way, but are our bodies not temples? I know many of you probably have a billion scriptures to counter me, and that's fine. I don't want this to turn into scripture bashing and such. This is just what I have come to find, and if you don't agree that's just fine! I will never be one of those people that MUST eat my diet, even if I'm a guest at someone's house. If they serve me meat, I will eat it. But within my own life and own home, that's another story. It's hard, but isn't everything that's worth it?

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I didn't offend anyone. This has just been the focus of my life the past monthish. So I'm a little passionate about it:)

**Side note to Megan and anyone that is inlove with the twilight series.
Okay- so there was a special edition of Eclipse that came out on saturday- I don't know what's so special about it, but it probably had a nice cover- WHO KNOWS! The important part though, is that IN IT- like her other books, had a preview of the next book. The first chapter of the book coming out in August, Breaking Dawn. So the night before the book came out with the chapter, Stephenie Meyer was so excited she couldn't stand it, so she gave a preview of the preview. Meaning, she gave like the first 2 pages of the first chapter of Breaking Dawn. The next day, the book came out and tons of people got it and typed it up online. That is what the link is. Someone typing it up, copying it from their book they bought with the chapter in it. I'M SO EXCITED! I'm sorry, but I just love Bella. I think she is SO hilarious. Those of you who are annoyed of Bella, PROBABLY are annoyed at the first chapter. She is just so funny, I love her. That is the story with the chapter and that one post. I hope it all made sense!